If you are considering throwing your own baby shower, you probably know that tradition states one of mom’s close friends or family members, but not mom herself, should be the host.
The thing with tradition however is that times changes, and often what was once considered poor etiquette is now perfectly acceptable.
But where does a self-hosted baby shower fall into this category or traditional vs modern day thinking?
In this post we’ll take a look at it from both sides, so you can decide for yourself whether you agree with those who say it’s tacky and money-grabbing, or if you side with those who think it’s totally acceptable.
Let’s jump right in!
Table of Contents
Can I Throw My Own Baby Shower?
Faux par or completely acceptable?
Let’s look at the reasons both for and against, so you have all the information at your disposal.
Why Some Say It’s Not Ok To Throw Your Own Baby Shower
If you are asking yourself whether it’s ok to plan and host your own baby shower, then the first thing to be aware of is that some people may view what your doing as tacky and gift-grabbing.
Sure, this view might be unfair and only held by a minority of people, but it does exist.
There’s no escaping that some guests may think hosting the event yourself is taboo and against etiquette rules, believing that your motive behind throwing the even is to receive gifts for your and your unborn baby.
That’s probably not what your intention is, but it is worth keeping this viewpoint in mind when making your decision.
The Argument For Hosting Your Own Baby Shower
You wouldn’t think twice about planning your own wedding or birthday party, so why question whether you can host your own baby shower?
That’s one of the arguments that those in the yes it’s acceptable camp make, and it’s quite valid when you think about it.
In addition, isn’t it quite a strange concept to expect someone else to plan or host a party to celebrate your baby, rather than hosting the event (and dealing with all the planning and preparation) yourself?
Here are some other reasons why it might be a great idea for you to host your own baby shower:
- You have complete control of the guestlist – this includes both those who are invited, and those who are NOT invited to the baby shower.
- You can decide on the venue type and other related details.
- You can establish the level of formality or informality. Typically self-hosted baby showers are a great option if you want a smaller, more casual celebration rather than a more lavish event.
- You save any close friends or family from having the financial burden and stress of having to plan and organise the event.
- You think your friends and family will be more excited about sharing your joy rather concerning themselves about traditions or taboos around who the host should be.
- You’ve taken a step back and remembered it’s 2023, and most etiquette out there is more than a little outdated!
Conclusion – Who Is Right?
So, we’ve now seen the argument from both sides.
But who is correct?
Those who say it’s tacky and uncouth to plan and host your own baby shower, or those who say there are no issues hosting your own event.
Ultimately it comes down to what you want to do, and what sort of reaction you can expect from your guests.
If your nearest and dearest are more easy-going, open-minded and non-judgmental, then you should definitely go ahead and host the event yourself.
If on the other hand you believe there will be people on your guestlist that will view a self-hosted baby shower as money-grabbing, then you might want to tread carefully and do one of the following:
- Secretly ask a close friend or family member to organise it on your behalf, and offer to pay for the cost so they are not out of pocket.
- Make it clear that you don’t want to receive any gifts, which will eliminate any suggestion of you throwing the baby shower just to receive a load of gifts. If you go down this route, you might want to choose a free or cheap venue and keep other costs within a set budget. That way you won’t have to choose between spending money on an expensive party rather than loading up on any essential baby gear you might be planning to buy.
At the end of the day, remember the event is about celebrating the impending arrival of your baby and not about tradition, taboos or social expectations!